A Sad and Happy Day At the Same Time...

People ask me all the time how I can possibly let the cats I work with go.   Aren't I tempted to keep them?  How can I love them and let them move on to other places?   Doesn't it make me sad?

Yes, the answer is yes to all those questions.   I LOVE the cats I work with, and of course the temptation is always there, niggling in the back of my mind.....  You should keep this one, it's extra special.....   But the reality is, I have enough of my own cats, and I made a commitment to them.  To give them love, and attention, and vet care.   I COULD keep every cat I love, but then I would be doing the cats I have a grave injustice.   That's only the first reason, but definitely the most important.   My fur-babies are with me for life, and I can't do anything that would compromise their health or happiness.   Having visitors come through for a while is one thing, loading myself up with cats is another.  I do understand on some level, though, how people can turn into cat hoarders.   That being said, it's all about the cats, and to be perfectly honest, many of the cats I work with are fine with me temporarily, but need the opportunity to shine in their OWN homes... be the center of attention, be the queen or king bee of their realm.  In my house, the thrones that were available are already taken.

It does make me sad, though, for a while, when the ones I care about are ready to leave.   We invest so much time and energy into making them well again, helping them to be happy.  That of course, creates a bond that is indescribable.  When a terrified cat finally opens up and reaches out to engage you, there is no feeling in the world like it.  The level of trust placed in your hands at that moment is an honor, and often hard-won.   At the same time, though, there comes a point when you realize that you've done all you can for them, and that it's time for them to move on with their life.  To have the life they deserve, and for you to move on and help others who can't help themselves.

Today is one of those days.  Two cats will be leaving us to move on to find forever homes, today.  Bobby, the lovely Pixie Bob we rescued last week.  This guy is a TOTAL lover.   No behavioral issues, he just had some worms and needed to be neutered.   Dewormed, neutered, this gorgeous gentle giant was already ready to move on and be someone's loverboy.   I like him, and I enjoyed him the short time he was with us, but he is definitely ready.  However, the second one DOES make me sad and happy at the same time.

Lomasi is ready.    It's almost unbelievable to say that..... there were many times I thought that she would never be solid enough to move on to a forever home.  But now, she's come so far.  She still acts a little skittish around loud noises - that will probably always happen - but she is interactive, cuddly, loving, moves around the house confidently, plays like a fiend..... There is absolutely nothing more that we can do to help her.  She's ready to move on and find her forever home.  It's bittersweet to some extent, because we will MISS her.  She's such a bright shining light, so loving, and a perfect example of animal's ability to bounce back from trauma.   But it's time.  It's going to be like saying goodbye to a beloved relative who lives far away.  She and I will always have a bond, and I will always know that myself and my family have made a difference in her life.  We have that bond that comes of being the ones to build trust again, to show them love again, to allow them to blossom.  That always makes it worth it.  And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, she is going to make someone the most lovely companion that they could ever ask for.  She's going to go into someone's home and fill it with love, affection, gentle love-nibbles, and entertaining play.  She deserves to be someone's princess.   I'm excited for the next chapter in her life..


When she's gone, I will still have Trade and Wind to work with (more updates on them to come), but Lomasi is one of those EXTRA special cats.  She has that little bit extra that will make her memorable for the rest of my life.  All the best to you, little one, as you start your journey to the rest of your life.   Know we love you, and that you will always have a place here if it's needed.  I hope beyond hope it's never needed. 

If you think you would like to give Lomasi a forever home, or the handsome, gentle Bobby, contact Neveah's Charity of West Lincoln.  Their Facebook is https://www.facebook.com/NcwlCatRescue and they will let everyone know there what stores these cats will be at to meet.  Signing off and wiping a tear from my eye... 

There's always another cat who needs help...

Lori is awesome.  Just figured I'd put that out there.  She is all over the place, and spends a lot of time at HAC in and out.  When she's there, she often pulls cats that she knows would not be given a chance, or would not be pulled by most rescues because they may be a "challenge".   Well, she did it again a few weeks ago.  A couple of beautiful kittens, about 4-6 months old.  They were born feral, and were trap cats.  As I've mentioned before, feral cats have NO chance of surviving HAC without help, and are often "dealt with" fairly quickly.  She saw these two, a sweet little orange tabby male, and a beautiful, petite tortie female, and she knew they wouldn't have a chance.  They were scared, hissy, swatty, and definitely wanted nothing to do with people.  Who can blame them, though?   After their only real experiences with people being trapped, poked, prodded, and confined, what reason would they have to like us?     Lori, being the amazing person she is, pulled the cats.  They were trapped in Hamilton at "Tradewind", an industrial area, I'm told.  So she named them "Trade" and "Wind".  Suitable names.  She asked if I could help with them, and of course, who am I to say no to a challenge?

Wind in her HAC picture.  Fairly obvious she's unhappy to be there.

Trade in his HAC portrait.  Mr. Attitude.

So Trade and Wind came to me, and I've started the process with them.  I always start my process by WATCHING first.  Trying to figure out how their minds work, what their personalities are like, how they react to different stimuli.   These two are DEFINITELY feral... but by no means aggressive.  Mostly, they were just scared.  Not sure what to make of everything, and easily overwhelmed.  Oftentimes, being overwhelmed with stimuli will make cats attack or act out somewhat aggressively, but mostly, it's bluff and bluster to protect themselves.   No different with these two.  Just have to get them engaged...

I started out with the usual steps.  Feeding them with my hand in the dish....  Spending quiet time just sitting near them so they can see me, smell me, and see that I mean them no harm.  Respectful eye contact, keeping low, keeping slow, and over time, it worked.  Trade is a vibrant and curious little boy.  Sweet and inquisitive, he immediately tried to figure out my angle.  Wind, well she mostly just hid, scared, saucer-eyed and timid under furniture for a week or so.  She wouldn't come out to eat or drink when we were around.  I figured that would take some time, but that if I could get through to Trade, she would follow along.  

I noticed that Trade LOVED to play.  Immediately upon seeing any kind of toy, he forgets his fear and fully engages in play.  This is one of the benefits of working with cats when they are young.  They still are so motivated by play and fun, it's a good easy way to get them hooked.  As soon as I came in the room, I would pull out a feather or the laser pointer, and have a good play session with Trade until he was so tired he flopped over.  Wind watched from under her safe little sanctuary, but I could see that less and less her eyes were consumed with fear, and more and more they had a spark of curiosity.  She really wanted to play, but could not move past the paralyzing fear she was feeling to actually take a swat at a toy.  I figured that would come in time, so I just kept doing things like that.   Within a few days, Trade would greet me when I came in the room by coming out from under the dresser and meowing.  It was like his way of saying "Hey, it's you.   Playtime, right!?" , and he started to follow me around until I played with him.  When playing, I could get him fairly close, but as soon as he REALIZED he was close, he would skip back a few feet and start playing again.  But then..about a week ago, I saw something that made me REALLY happy.  I was playing with Trade, he was ALMOST done..... and then I saw a dark little paw slide out from under the dresser and swat at the toy.  AHA!  Wind was trying to play.   She doesn't play as hard as Trade, but once she started, she wanted to play.   YAY!!

Fast forward a week or so, with daily feedings with positive scent associations...  Daily play.   Some treats.   We still can't pet them, but they are working their way closer and closer every day.   Now, they get so involved in play that they will brush up against our hands, our legs, etc, and may startle very briefly, but are now starting to get INTERESTED in these two-legged things.  When they come close, they stop to take a sniff, and just two days ago, I was SHOCKED to see, but Trade and Wind BOTH jumped up on the bed to play, right on top of my husband and me!  They even hung out for a while, and even when Wind jumped down, Trade stuck around for a while, lounging at the end of the bed.   My husband and I both did a quiet "YAY" but had to act like it was no big thing.  We didn't want the cats to think that we were paying TOO much attention to them (that usually causes them to scatter).

Just last night, Trade came up to lay RIGHT beside me to play with a toy I had, and let his face touch my hand a few times.   He backed up a bit after, and would not allow ME to pet HIM, but he had NO problems touching ME.   He's funny, it's almost like he has to keep up "appearances".  He is SO incredibly curious, and it's like he and Wind really WANT to be around people.  They see the other cats coming and soaking up love and pets, and when they watch, they tend to move very close and stay there.   They just aren't THERE yet.  It won't be long though!  Engagement has been made, and barriers are quickly dropping.  Trade likely already has a home when he's ready for adoption... which is great!  Wind doesn't yet, however she is GORGEOUS and a lovely little girl, so I have no doubt it won't be long before she gets adopted once she's available.  She's quite shy, and is often eclipsed by the boisterous Trade, so I don't mind spending a little extra time to give her the confidence she deserves, even if he gets adopted.  Lomasi has been coming to help, throwing herself at us for love and looking over at the aloof Trade and Wind with something I would call akin to condescension.  The look on her face is like "Hey, losers, you're missing out.  Your loss, my gain!  HAHAHA!"   She plays with them as well, and Quark and Trouble often round out the group by coming to visit and showing Trade and Wind just how awesome it is to love people.   I'm making a goal for us to have Trade allowing us to touch him by the end of the week.  Of course, reality may be entirely different, and animals don't work on human timelines, but it's something to work towards.  I believe in celebrating the small victories, because each one is another brick in the foundation, and every journey begins with a single step, followed by one more at a time.  I'll make sure to post anything new that happens, and I'm working on getting updated pictures for them both.   Thank you to everyone who reads!

Gotta have a plan....

So, I'm sure some people are wondering what happened with Lomasi... the HAC Cat who was deemed a feral and saved last-minute from euthanization.  The poor girl was in full PTSD trauma, and that is certainly no way to adopt a cat.   A LOT of work had to be done in order to really gain her trust and open her up to loving people, instead of just fearing them.   I knew we had to have a good plan.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I did notice that Lomasi seemed to be somewhat more comfortable with the clinic cat present during her examination.  I hadn't had her long, and hadn't really exposed her to my resident cats, because I wasn't sure how she would react, and the last thing I wanted to do was put her further into trauma.  As it was, she spent her entire day cowering in a corner under furniture, her eyes as big as saucers, and hissing and growling at anything that moved or that she thought might move.  Humans made her especially terrified, even if all she did was hear their voices.   This poor darling was so hyper-vigilant, I don't know that she really slept for the first week at our house.   There had to be a combination of methods used in order to show this poor cat that nobody was going to hurt her, and that humans can be GOOD, not just terrible and terrifying.  Getting a cat in full shut-down to do ANY paying attention to anything other than their fear is fun in and of itself, but unless the connection is made, nothing will move forward.  I wracked my brains to come up with a full routine, and in the meantime, I spent hours every day in the room with her, not doing anything, not even looking at her, just sitting there, letting her smell me and see that I was not going to move or hurt her.   She did have her medication for her cheek at this time, and although she would growl and hiss when I approached her to give the meds, she was quiet and sat still, allowing me to apply the topical and give her her oral meds, and never ONCE did she lash out.  SUPER good sign.   If a cat is going to strike out, it's DEFINITELY going to do so when you are administering unpleasant medications.  All these observations help to formulate a plan of "attack", so after a week of medicating, observing her reactions, and seeing what motivated her...  I had a plan.

1)  Feeding time - Lomasi liked her food, but was not especially food-motivated.  The fear was stronger than the food.  But certain types of wet food seemed to get a stronger reaction than others, so I planned to feed her those foods, but lay right beside the food dish with my hand IN it, mingling my scent with the food and making a positive association in her brain.... People = Favorite food.  Cats are so scent-motivated, it is a no-brainer when you can make positive scent associations.

2) Other Cats - I have certain of my resident cats that I refer to as "Ambassador Cats".  These are cats that I can rely on to be solid, relaxed, and will respond with relative predictability to other cats, no matter what THAT cat's reaction is.   Mouse, Quark, Duck, and Trouble are all good candidates with different types of cats.  What seems to affect these meetings the most is if a cat is more dominant, more submissive, or more neutral.  I pay VERY close attention to where my cats are on their own hierarchy, and although there are subtle changes occasionally, but for the most part their own structure is pretty well established.  Lomasi is definitely more on the "neutral" side of things, but could be victimized because of her fear and weakness by a more dominant cat than her.  I had to think about who it was I was going to introduce, but I had a short list.  Duck is a big cat, his size can intimidate, although he's actually about as scary as a butterfly.   Mouse is extremely tiny, she's good with small cats, because she's not intimidating on size, but can be vulnerable to attack from larger cats.   Quark is lovely, but she can randomly be a "princess" and decide she's TOO GOOD for her current company.   Trouble seemed to be the best.  She's a "submissive" on hierarchy, but really, she's more like Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter books... in a class all to herself.  A stable cat, not an aggressive bone in her body, SUPER human-lovey, and very playful.  Seems like a win.

3) Being VERY careful with eye contact - Eye contact is a huge thing for cats.  They can carry on entire conversations with their eyes, and if you are observant, you can glean as much information from their eyes as you can from their tails and ears (sometimes, more).  There is a "proper" way for cats to greet each other, to approach new cats, etc, and much of it is communicated in the form of eye contact.  ANY direct eye contact can make a cat EXTREMELY intimidated and shut them down.  My plan for this was to always physically stay low (keeping on the same level with her and not above - above can be a threat), not to initiate direct eye contact, looking down to the side with soft eyes, and to make sure that I didn't engage in anything with her until I got her "permission" (slow blinks that show a level of trust and security).  Downcast soft eyes, any direct eye contact after permission, and soft eyes while dealing with her.  Hopefully it would all bring her threat level down to as close to zero as we could get it.

4) Contact with KIDS - Calm, understanding children seem to have a way of connecting with animals even when adults can't.  Getting the kids involved in a calm manner might help to create a level of connectedness with Lomasi that she may not evolve with an adult.  You never know until you try, and nevertheless, kids seem to be less intimidating.  Anything to remove that factor is a bonus.

5) Exposure therapy - Instead of keeping Lomasi in a quiet, sterile environment, which does NOTHING to move past her trauma but instead keeps her cushioned in it, I knew that we had to start exposing her to the sounds and movements that would normally shut her down, but do it in a controlled, safe way that can allow her to get used to the noise and movement of a busy household, but not put her back into her trauma shell and force us to start over.   Any quick movement would make her run or cringe, and loud noises sent her scrambling for cover.  Definitely NOT a good thing when trying to get a cat adopted.  If they hide all the time and are always scared, well, people don't want them as a pet.

6) Play and Confidence building -   If I could get her engaged enough not to be afraid of our presence, we could really build up her confidence getting her engaged in structured play.  It has the added bonus of also siphoning off some of that anxious energy, and oftentimes a tired, played-out cat is more responsive to all kinds of attention and/or training. 

The plan was set.  But would it work?  Any one of these elements could help, some may do nothing at all, but at least we had a full plan to crack the nut as best as we could.  The only thing left was to enact it....

Such a pretty girl.  Out exploring the wider world of the house...  

At first, feeding times were a bit of a challenge.  I generally feed all the cats (residents and fosters) at the same time... This prevents fights, and issues with fairness.  And if you don't think cats understand the concept of "he got more than I did", time to check yourself.  They ABSOLUTELY do and it can cause infighting in an established group.   Lomasi was still in her own space, but she could hear the other cats clamoring for attention, and they all knew when I went in to see her.  My method was to take in the food, and sit for her ENTIRE TIME EATING with my hand on the plate, almost in the food, laying on the floor.  A few times I got a cramp, or would get itchy, but any quick movement would send Lomasi scampering, and that doesn't help.  After a while she got used to me, and even started to look out and meow when she saw me coming.  This was HUGE progress.. .but she still wouldn't let me really touch her willingly.

Lomasi was in my daughter's room.  My youngest daughter is a lovely girl who adores cats and loves helping them.. but she can also be very loud and vibrant.  Bad idea to have Lomasi with her?  NOT AT ALL.  Lomasi VERY quickly realized that all the noise and movement from my daughter was not a threat in the least, and this exposure to the noise really started moving her along quickly, dulling her hyper-alert startle reflexes, and started to peak her curiosity.  She would watch what was happening from a safe place, and although she didn't come out, even getting her attention was a good sign of engagement.  I also spent a lot of time with my face jammed under my daughter's bed talking to Lomasi sweetly, getting her used to the sound of my voice associated with my smell (I spent a lot of time with my glasses off and her sniffing the stems, good way to keep arm's length and still have them SMELL you).  It seemed to pay off, and she started to come out, at least pop her head out, more and more.  These are the times I really expressed the "come hither" kind of eye contact.  The let's be friends we're ok slow blinks and the respectful, slow approaches, to the point she trusted us if we approached her that way, and stopped hissing and cowering, and was more curious..  Breakthrough!  It was time to really ramp things up.    Enter - Trouble.

Lomasi hanging out with foster-daddy on the couch!

As I mentioned earlier, Trouble was PERFECT for Lomasi to watch.  She's a HIGHLY people-oriented cat.  As soon as she sees a person it's a meow, tail up in the air, and an approach demanding love and pets.  Cats learn a LOT from watching the behavior of other cats, and we would leave Trouble in the room with Lomasi (who accepted her immediately - much to our pleasure), and when we would come in the room Trouble would greet us with jubilation.  Lomasi watched this very closely, almost like she couldn't figure out why at first... But when Trouble gets her pets and flops down rolling around and purring, Lomasi observed this trust of us, and saw that no harm came to Trouble, either.  I think this, more than anything, encouraged her on to the next step.  Her curiosity got the best of her, she had no reason to be scared that she could see, and eventually, SHE started to greet us when we came in.  Not coming out all the way, but poking her head out, meowing, and actually WANTING to be pet.

I have to say, once the floodgates were opened for this little girl, she turned into a love MACHINE!  You could not pet her fast enough or long enough and she would thrust her head into your hand demanding more pets, while running in circles to make sure you pet all of her!  She started more and more to come out from her hiding place to seek love, and really started to actively engage in play (instead of just the odd swat at an object).   She had made leaps and bounds in only a short time, but it all started with her ENGAGING with us, instead of just fearing us.

The lovely Lomasi, confident and comfortable in her environment.  A long time coming!

The next step... to introduce her to the wider world of the house and resident cats.  This made me especially nervous, because we also have two large dogs.  Now, to qualify that, although both dogs are 65 pounds, they are both EXTREMELY good with cats.  They have been trained from puppyhood that cats are higher than they are in the pack, they never chase cats, bark or nip at them, and in fact, our resident cats often mother and groom the dogs, or cuddle up with them.  I wasn't sure, given Lomasi's sketchy background and time in the big world, what her experiences with dogs had been, so that was definitely a factor.  But the only way to really know is to try, so we just opened up the door to her room, and let her have free roam in and out.   At first, she hid under the bed, but from a vantage where she could look out the door and see everything happening.  Before long, though, she was wandering the house, exploring, and although she would startle and run when loud noises or unexpected movements would occur, instead of just diving, she would run a few feet, then turn around and investigate.   She was past ONLY her instinct self-preservation reactions, and although she still has them, they are less and less literally every day.  Her first encounter with the dogs involved some hissing and poufy fur, and even now she's not particularly "friendly" with them, but she tolerates or ignores them and is no longer afraid.  She can meet new people with confidence, and is quickly inserting herself into the family routine.  She's even starting to help me with a few other trauma cats we have taken in (more about these guys coming), and has made incredible progress!  The other day, she jumped up on the couch WITH us for the first time every... planted herself down, and cuddled up!   We were blown away but so grateful..... This is where she needs to be.  NOW she can find a home and live a normal, happy, fulfilled kitty life!  Really all that's left is to get her ready to be in a cage in a pet store.  Her experiences with cages in the past were not good, but with some exposure therapy (feeding her in an empty cage with the door open, etc), before long I am very confident that won't be an issue either.  The months of work and effort paid off.... we couldn't be more happy!!

This is a beautiful little girl, and out there, somewhere, is the perfect forever home for her.  Whoever her future family are, they are VERY lucky.  This little girl is going to be the best cat anyone could ever ask for.  And I'm not just saying that... She's just AWESOME.

If you are interested in potentially adopting Lomasi, you can find all the contact information for Neveah's Charity of West Lincoln on their webpage, http://ncwl.weebly.com/, or their Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/NcwlCatRescue

To read the first part of Lomasi's story, it is here:  http://traumacatdiaries.blogspot.ca/2014/04/about-as-feral-as-my-kitchen-table.html

Not all cats are traumatized... We do sick, too!

In the course of my time in rescue, I've encountered a TON of sick cats - various types of sick.  Everything from the sniffles to various different serious and life-threatening issues.  It's always a challenge to keep cats quarantined and medicated, as anyone with a cat could attest.  I generally have no issues nursing them back to health, no matter how icky or gross the treatment or symptoms can be.   The whole family contributes to getting sick kitties better when we have them.

There are certain times when it's REALLY bad for a cat to be sick, and when they are pregnant is one of them.  I got a call from Lori who wanted me to help her out by taking a pregnant cat she had pulled from HAC.  The poor darling was very pregnant, but wasn't even listed anywhere because she was sick, and sick = dead at HAC.  Lori decided to pull the cat and ask questions later, and she took her back to her own shelter facility.  The poor girl, named Bianca, did not do well there, and was more and more stressed out.  She needed a home environment to get better and deliver.  Lori called me.  She was especially concerned because Bianca was still very ill, but was ready to give birth any day, but if she did, her kittens were at risk of getting sick with her own URI, and a respiratory infection for wee little kittens is a very, very serious thing.  They need their sense of smell to find the way to the nipple, and if they are stuffy, that's just not happening.  I had my work cut out for me.

I still had lovely Sage and her babies, at the time all thriving, so we agreed to swap.  My healthy, well family to go to another foster, in exchange for pretty sickie white preggo cat.  I could tell as soon as I saw her that Bianca was a sweet girl, who was miserable and sniffly and sneezing.  We took her home and got her settled in a quarantine room by herself.

Bianca and her little "chicken nuggets".  Squee!

The poor thing was SO skinny, a product of being too stressed to eat, in combination with living on the streets before she ended up at Animal Control.  Despite her huge round belly, her little hip bones jutted sharply out, and her face was so skinny...  It looked like she had maybe had a litter already when she was trapped...  Her nipples were swollen and the hair was moved around in the telltale "kittens have been nursing" kind of way.   No sign of kittens when they caught her though.  I can only hope they were safe.  To the matter at hand though, I had to get this girl better asap!

She immediately loved the King sized bed covered in fuzzy blankets in her quiet room.  This is good, she was getting comfortable, de-stressing and decompressing.  Within minutes though, she had a coughing fit so bad I thought she was going to explode.  OI!  The illness in her lungs had a tight grip, it was going to be a challenge to meet the deadline of getting her URI gone, getting her weight up, and all this before she delivered (and who knows when that could be, it could be any day).  I started her with Lysine added to her wet food, as well as kitten milk.  Kitten milk has lots of protein and calories, and pregnant mamas can use it just as much as kittens can.  Adding it to the food of a pregnant or nursing mother, it can help them make up for the calories they loose nursing and still sustain their own body reserves.  Nursing mothers need three times the amount of calories they would normally... How much would a sick, pregnant, malnourished mama cat need?   She pretty much spent most of her time in the food dish, and the rest of it cuddling us, and coughing.  And sneezing.  And having these near-athsma attacks that totally disturbed me. 

I also realized that she was at least partially deaf.  She's a white cat with blue eyes.   About 80% of blue-eyed, white cats, they are genetically deaf.  It has something to do with the development of their eyes and ears in the womb..  Often even a white cat with two different color eyes will be deaf on the blue-eyed side.  Hooooooo boy.. another challenge.  Deaf cats get along just great, but they can certainly be more prone to defensiveness, and a mama cat who's deaf is especially challenged.. how do they hear their babies when they cry?  Bianca was VERY sensitive to vibrations though, and I hoped there was a chance that her deafness was in part a product of her stuffiness, but we wouldn't know until she was better.  Days went by and every day she seemed to get a little better, cough and sneeze a bit less, and she started filling out.  Those jutting little hipbones were covered with a sleek layer of conditioning that looked good on her.  I just begged the powers that be for every day she was sick that today would NOT be the day she went into labor, she wasn't ready yet, the kittens COULDN'T get sick!!

Lori was also concerned because Bianca had been vaccinated at HAC.  Oftentimes pregnant cats will be vaccinated to induce abortions....   Bianca had been JUST newly pregnant at the time, and chances are they didn't even know she was pregnant, but regardless, we were very worried about the kittens because of this, as well.   Vaccination during pregnancy can cause deformities and other nastiness in the babies.  All we could do was keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Adorable sleeping threesome!

About 4 am on a Sunday, I was blissfully sleeping.  Bianca had been resting on the bed with my husband and I, and I was off in lala land.  I was awoken by my husband, shaking me frantically.  He said "Don't move your feet, she's having her babies there!"  DOH!  I had a kittening box prepared, but obviously Bianca decided to go her own way...  I looked down and saw lots of blood, and some white, and moved her as quickly as possible into her kittening box.   (Doing laundry at 4 am on a sunday - please note, NOT on the list of fun things to do on the weekend!)  The first delivery went pretty quickly... And although I was helping her, I could tell something was off about the first baby, it wasn't really moving or struggling as they do when they are first born, and it looked like something was hanging......   She delivered the second baby and abandoned the first to me...   I picked the baby up and on closer inspection, I was heartbroken to see the baby was badly deformed.  It was born with it's insides on the outside (trust me, the actual visual is no better than the imagined one), and it was weak and dying quickly.  There was nothing I could do for the poor thing, so I made it as comfortable as I could and went to assist with the other babies.  It died a few minutes later.

There are no words as to how adorable they are.....

Bianca was very tired, and was struggling, probably not just from the labour, but still being weak from her illness.  She charged on though, though,  and delivered three more perfectly exquisite, extremely tiny, squirming and loud little white babies.  She was a very attentive mom.  She seemed to be making up for not hearing them by always having her eyes on them.  I couldn't have been happier that she was so loving and conscientious of them.  I was worried about her passing her cold to them by licking them, or her losing condition because she was behind the 8 ball already, but all I could do was my best.... 

Playful little stinkers!

The kittens have grown in leaps and bounds.  They are sweet little "chicken nuggets", as my older daughter calls them.   They are almost 5 weeks old now, eyes open, totally mobile, and totally endearing.  Bianca is a lovely mama, who it seems is only PARTIALLY deaf (She can hear some tones), which is GREAT... the complete deafness WAS from her congestion... Even better!  Bianca is so intensely loving and sweet (not to mention beautiful!), I don't doubt that she will find a forever home very quickly once she's ready... But for now, we get to enjoy her lovely nature, and her adorable little white kittens.  We have named them, one girl and three boys.  We wanted to have fun with their names, so we named them all something that means "White".   Nerys is the girl (White lady), Fintan is one of the boys, the end of his tail is crooked (a genetic thing), his name means "white one", and Dhaval who's name means "white fire".  Bianca means white too, so the family theme fits.  I will be posting lots more about these guys until they get adopted.  For now, it just means you get to enjoy their ADORABLE pictures and videos.   Aww, shucks!    It's nice when you don't have to really fix them sometimes, and you just get to enjoy it.  Don't get me wrong, I'd NEVER give up working with Trauma cats, but it's nice to enjoy a little normalcy, too :) 

OMG! Adoratabbies! *swoon*

There are people out there who, despite not being able to help directly, try really hard to do the right thing.  There is a wonderful family in Hamilton who, finding an abandoned, very pregnant cat in their townhouse complex, took her in.  Instead of dumping her at animal control (which is not where we want them to end up), they decided to put the word out in the best way they knew how to find her a safe place to be.  Kijiji.

On the rescue groups on social media, these ads are often shared.  We do our best to scoop the cats and kittens and get them into programs before they are sent to potentially questionable circumstances, or, in some cases, dark and horrible fates (some as snake food, some for breeding, some for even worse things - people can be messed up).  I saw the photos and the ad, but I noticed something very important.  This family made it VERY clear in their ad that they would NOT allow this cat to go just anywhere.  They had a list of questions they wanted answers, and were trying to do as much as they could to guarantee Mama cat went to a SAFE, GOOD place.  That I really liked.  So, I contacted them, explained that I worked in rescue and that we wanted to help Mama cat through her delivery, and help her and the kittens find loving, responsible forever homes after that.  They were THRILLED, this was just what they were looking for, and so they arranged for me to come pick up Mama later that week and get her into the program.

"Sage" - Mama rescued by wonderful family, and her three little babies minutes after birth.

A few days later, I received a text message from the wife of this lovely family.  She said that there were other stray, semi-feral, and dumped cats in the area (their area is particularly bad for people moving and dumping cats before they move), and would I maybe be able to find a place for them too?  I wasn't really prepared and wasn't sure if the rescue I work with could take them all, so I told her I would do my best and let her know.  I wasn't going to assume Lori had capacity (goodness knows the woman is already a saint and does what she can, but is extremely reasonable too), so I figured I'd check with her then ask around and see if any other rescues would take them.  They cats were in this family's home (temporarily) and interacting with them, it was pretty safe to assume they would be social and easy to adopt.  There were two tabby brothers, and an older orange tabby male.  Ok, I would see what I could do.

I talked to Lori, and she was happy to take Mama, but suggested that another rescue could take the other three.  Since they seemed like quick "flips", so to speak, it made sense to spread them out.  Ok, great.  The other rescue made arrangements with me to drop the boys off to a vet once I picked them up, so I agreed, let the family know I was taking everyone, and went along my merry way.

I arrived to pick up the cats, four carriers it was rather an ordeal, but the lovely family was happy I was there and taking everyone, and they promised to let me know if any more cats needed help.  These people are amazing, and I wish there were more like them in the world.  Everyone was loaded up and heading home.  The Mama to stay in my house and give birth, and the boys to move on to the other rescue.  They were to spend overnight at my place, to be dropped off the next day.

The boys were a touch skittish, but that was to be expected, considering the circumstances.  Despite a little nervousness, they all seemed friendly, so in the morning I dropped them off and went home to prepare to play midwife....

The rescue who took the tabbies (who are all absolutely ADORABLE) got them into their foster home after having them fixed and vaccinated.  All seemed well.. except...

A few weeks later I get a message from the head of the rescue.  She's unsure what to do.  The orange tabby was fine and got adopted, but the brother tabbies (I dubbed them "Adoratabbies" in my head - named Coby and Darby), weren't doing well, wouldn't let themselves be picked up, would not allow themselves to be pet or approached.  They needed work and they weren't going to be able to stay with her.  I didn't know what to say, I felt terrible, but I was sure they were fine.  I didn't want to inconvenience this lady any more than I had to, so I offered to take the boys back.  She handed them back lock, stock and barrel, and suddenly I have two lovely little cats who aren't even wanted by a rescue.  What the hell is going on?  And I already have my hands full!  Ahh well, in rescue sometimes you have to go with the flow and see where it takes you...

The "Adoratabbies", Coby and Darby

I let the boys out into "General population" with my resident cats.  They were healthy, vaccinated, and whatnot, and really, there was no reason not to.  They came here and seemed fine... not really nervous at all.  They would run a few feet if you approached quickly and high up, but that's fairly normal, especially for semi-feral or cats who've been outside surviving on their own.  Outside, not being cautious means being dead.  We all just slowed things down, let them come to us, but really, there was no hesitation.  The Adoratabbies were ABSOLUTE lovebugs!  Baffled, not sure how they could be the polar opposite of the story I was told, I shook my head and carried on.

I decided we would keep the Adoratabbies for a little while, get them used to dogs, kids, chaos, and caphcony, make sure they would be really solid no matter where they went.  Get to know them really well so we could know what kind of home they'd thrive in.  Basically give them the best chance for adoption we possibly could.  They quickly became household favorites, and we argued amongst ourselves a few times out of keeping them.  It would have been easy, they are LOVELY, but we just couldn't do it.  These guys deserved to shine in their own home.   Ok, so then what to do?  They aren't "sponsored" by a rescue.  They are basically ours.  Already fixed and vaccinated, thanks so much to the original rescue, so that was a bonus, but still...

Darby, the brains of the Operation.  Lovebug extraordinaire.

Lori to the rescue!  I let her know about the boys and their situation.  She agreed to take them on and help me to get them adopted.  Bless her, she's just an angel amongst women!  We were all so excited she was going to help us, so we set about the business of getting them used to things like a caged environment (in the store to meet potential adopters), and to meeting new people, reacting well to noise, etc.  We got them nice and solid, and sent them off to the store to meet their new people!

Coby, the "Beefcake".  That circle on his muzzle is adorable!

We took them to an adoption event, which was very overwhelming for them.  Of course, before they went, they were microchipped at the vet (which is a rather unpleasant experience, though  not horrible, it doesn't make for happy go lucky kitties).  They did ok, but once they were moved to a store they settled down some more.  I admit to being nervous about how they would react to being in the cage in the big scary store... but I'm proud of how they did.  I just saw the news that Darby was adopted into a forever home, joining another cat from NCWL (YAY!!!), but Coby is still awaiting his forever home.  In this adorable duo, Darby was the brains, while Coby was the braun.  I called him "beefcake" because that's just how he struck me.  This little sweetiepie really deserves a home, though, so I'm hoping _that_ person shows up this weekend to adopt him.  In the meantime, I'm going to shout it from the rooftops and make sure he finds a home.  He is awesome and deserves it.   This is why we rescue.  Hope is what it's all about!

Going on a rescue......

Saw a post in the rescue groups on kijiji for a Pixie Bob male.   Pixie Bob!?  Love those cats, but they often fall in the wrong hands.   Fortunately, this is a RESPONSIBLE owner who realized she could not fulfill the needs of this cat, and wants to try to find it a good forever home that will be able to give him all the love and care he deserves (she was very particular about this in the post, that always warms my heart).  She already has pets and doesn't feel it's fair to the ones she already has, either.   Some people might look down their nose as someone like this, but frankly I *LOVE* these people.  It takes a big person to realize that you can't fulfill the needs of an animal, and to do something positive (aside from dumping them off at HAC) to give them what they need.  If more people were like this, HAC would have less cats...  less cats would be dumped last minute... things would definitely be different.

She was pleased when I contacted her and let her know I was in rescue, and that not only would her lovely boy find a new, good, screened home, but would be fixed and vaccinated too.   That made her especially happy and hopeful.  She's doing the right thing, and I'm pleased to be able to help her, and of course, the lovely kitty!  Off to pick him up shortly.  Packing up the family and a carrier and going on an adventure on the long weekend.  Just a quick round-trip adventure, but everyone's excited about it!  They all jumped to volunteer for the ride as soon as they heard what it was for...

Nope, we are SO not a "normal" family.  I wouldn't change that for the world.  Pics to follow...

About as feral as my kitchen table......

There are a lot of groups on Facebook devoted to cat rescue.  Many rescue groups work hand in hand - understanding that it doesn't matter WHO helps a cat, as long as a cat is helped.  There's several animal control services in the area, most of them are fairly good, but there is one in particular, Hamilton Animal Control, that is a terrible place to be if you're an animal.  They are kill-happy, and tend to not really investigate ANYTHING about the cats that come in... They just assume and carry on.  Basically, if a cat swats, hisses, growls, or does anything other than just sit there like a lump, they can be deemed "feral".  Nobody takes into account the simple trauma of being in that environment.. small cramped metal cages, unfamiliar noises, the smell of suffering, foreign things, and fear.  That kind of environment could put ANY cat over the razor's edge and cause them to act defensively.  Unfortunately, being marked "feral" at HAC means being marked for death.  Once that happens, the clock is ticking for any rescues who want to help.  Once "vet day" comes, the deed is done, and there is no help for the dead.

One particular little black and white (Aka Cow Cat) was getting a lot of chatter in the rescue groups.  She had a big nasty injury on her cheek... something she had received from being trapped.  The door of the trap came down on her face, and removed about 3/4 of her cheek.  The injury had not been tended because she was hissing and growling...   She was marked as "feral".  The timer was ticking, and Vet Day was only a few days away.  The race was on to see if she could be saved.

Lomasi in her HAC picture.  The mark under her left eye is the injury she sustained from being trapped.  No wonder she was traumatized!  The fear in her eyes is obvious.

Part of the issue with rescuing cats from places like HAC is that most of the wonderful people who want to help can't necessarily get there to collect a cat.  And only approved rescues can "pull" from there.  A rescue had to agree to pull a cat (essentially sponsor their vetting, adoption, etc) in order for it to be saved, but then comes the matter of GETTING it to safety.  There were a lot of busy people and it was tough to find a ride for this girl once a rescue stepped forward... and there was also the matter of where would they go?  Most of the rescues do not have the capacity to deal with cats this damaged, and it was easy to tell just from the look in her eyes that this cat was horribly traumatized by her experiences.  Moved, and determined to help this poor girl, I volunteered to take her if a rescue could pull her and we could arrange a ride.  The race was on!

Neveah's Charity of West Lincoln, run by an amazing firebrand of a woman named Lori Dudley, stepped up to the plate and agreed to help out this girl.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, Lori is a HUGE fan of "cow cats" (a favorite of ours as well, considering we have three), and really wanted to help this girl.  I hadn't met her or worked with her before, but all of my network said that she was a fantastic lady, and that NCWL was a reputable, honorable, and excellent rescue.  Perfect!  I would be working with them to get this girl out... now to get a ride.

Things were starting to get frantic, as the clock was ticking, and as the search continued for a ride, Vet Day arrived.   Generally things start to happen around 11 am, so the window of opportunity to save this "feral" cat was in full swing.  Finally, an amazing lady in rescue who does many of these "delivery" operations stepped up to volunteer, and we finally had everything we needed to get the black and white girl out!   The "pull" was arranged, the volunteer arrived, and not a moment too soon.  When she arrived, there was just under an hour until "D-moment".  Talk about a near miss!  One hour longer, and all hope for this girl would have been snuffed out.  Now, she really had a chance....

Everyone celebrated.  Relieved that one more innocent life was spared a sad, lonely, terrifying end for no other reason than being unwanted.  .  I was nervous, not sure what to expect, but knowing full well this cat would likely be severely traumatized, and would have a long hard road ahead of her.  I was definitely right.

The angelic rescue driver arrived, carrier in tow, and we chatted for a few minutes while she set the carrier down and let the kitty have a moment.  I could see she was huddled in sheer terror at the back of her carrier.    She was in full meltdown mode, generally a good sign of PTSD.  Not even the presence of other cats could bring out any curiosity (another sign of complete mental shutdown).  This girl REALLY needed our help!  The angel-driver left, and I moved Miss "Feral" up to a quiet room to decompress.  Even with her carrier door open, she refused to come out.  She was ok with me sitting close to it, but any quick movements would have her cowering and cringing, trying to practically crawl into the ground.  The poor thing was fully in trauma.

I put my hand close, and although she would hiss and growl, never once did she lash out.  This was a hopeful thing for me, because if she isn't lashing out, she's not aggressive, she's just defensively posturing.  Can't say as I'd blame her in her current state.  I was pretty concerned about the injury on her cheek though, and let Lori know I wanted to take her into the vet to get it looked at.  It was an awful injury, literally a millimeter or two higher and she would have lost the eye.  She was lucky, but an infection could still come to a nasty end, so I wanted to be sure.

It was easy enough to get her into the carrier (since she'd never left), so I closed the door and carted her off.  She was very afraid at the vet... but something very good happened there (aside from her getting needed meds and a clean bill of health overall).  The vet clinic has a resident cat... a lovely little boy who himself was a rescue.  I noticed that when he was in the room or close by, this little girl would calm down.  I asked them if he could stay in the room during her exam, and they were fine with it, but I realized that perhaps having other cats help me to reach this girl would not be a bad idea.  Armed with meds and a plan, we came home and settled her back in.

At the vet they had logged the cat as her HAC number, because she didn't have a name yet.   I asked Lori if she had a preference, but she left the name in my hands.  A beautiful cat deserves a beautiful name, and after poking around the internet, I found one I felt was suitable.  "Lomasi" - it means Pretty Flower in native american (Cherokee, I think).  She's a beautiful cat, and it seemed to fit.  Lomasi was our choice.  Our pretty flower had a long way to go, but flowers are things of hope, and we had a lot.  One thing I definitely knew.... this cat was about as feral as my kitchen table.  I thank all the powers of the universe that she's still around so she can prove it.   We just had to get her there.....

(To Be Continued..)

It starts with just one....

While fostering for a rescue, I dealt with many cats and kittens in various states of socialization, trauma, issue, illness, and what have you.  We had cats from hoarding houses, from neglect, dumped cats, abandoned cats, all kinds of cats.  All of them pretty much came around, and were adopted out as loving, social, sweet, well adjusted cats (haven't heard anything to the contrary from MANY adopters of our sweethearts).  Sometimes, though there is just that one cat, that special one that really needs your help, that can really help you to understand your passion.

Legacy came to me through a good samartan. A phenomenally beautiful purebred Showshoe Siamese,  she had been dumped by her family, and was housed with a senior cat who really hated her, and constantly attacked and harassed her.  I couldn't fathom even for an instant how anyone could allow her to get in such a terrible state, though.  Her fur was dull, her whiskers were broken off, she was overweight, but most of all, she was completely terrified of everything and everyone.  She wasn't fixed, and had never been to the vet (absolutely infuriating, I'm quite sure that she was being used for breeding as well, she had the look of having nursed kittens when she came).   When she first arrived, I put her in a room with my youngest daughter (She's 10).  I find oftentimes, highly traumatized cats respond well to calm, caring children.  Perhaps they sense that they are not as scary as adults, but there have been many times my kids have made connections with these cats before I do.  It doesn't bother me in the least WHO makes the connection... All I really care about is that it happens.  Once it does, magical things start to happen.

Legacy is a beautiful purebred Snowshoe.  Not a common cat at all.

Legacy was with us only for a few days when she started to realize that nobody was going to hurt her, and nothing was going to attack her.  She hissed and growled a little at first, unsure and hyper-vigilant for attack.  I felt awful that she was living in that state of constant fear and hyper-awareness.... but after a little while, she started to let her walls down, and we could see that she really WANTED love and attention, but had never really had it before.  This was absolutely disgusting to me.  I was determined that she would be allowed to shine, and that we would find her an amazing forever home.

With a lot of work, slow movements, and patience, we got her trusting us.   Eventually, we wanted to test and see how she would do with other cats, but we didn't want it to turn into something that would traumatize her further and perhaps set back her progress.   Cats who are traumatized are often further harassed by other cats.  Even cats who are usually nice can be on the offensive with traumatized cats, as they sense their weakness.  We have lovely resident cats, who for the most part are excellent with other cats, but admittedly, there are some strong personalities in our clowder who could be triggered by a "weak" cat.  We wanted to work past that in a way that wouldn't move us backwards.

Instead of introducing her to adults, I thought that, chances were good that she would be less intimated by kittens.  We had some foster kittens at the time, particularly fun and playful ones, and we decided to do an experiment.  We put the sweetest, most outgoing kitten with her to see how she reacted.  At first, she was a little grumpy, not sure what to make of the situation.. But soon, she started to engage him, and before long, she was grooming him, cuddling him, and watching him as he played.   This was particularly interesting to me, because she never engaged him in play.  I had tried everything, every toy and trick in my arsenal to get her to engage in play, and no matter what I tried, NOTHING worked.  Play is a fantastic bonding activity for cats, and I was sort of put out that I could not crack this nut.   The kitten, however, managed to do what I could not, and almost as if she was learning from him, she started to engage him in some play.   When I realized how much she watched him before she attempted herself, I realized, it was because she DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY!  Of course!  If nobody had ever played with her, how would she possibly know how?   I was extremely excited at the breakthrough, and knew that her progress would move along even more quickly now that I had another way to build her confidence.  Play for cats is EXTREMELY confidence-building.  It's also a good way to get the weight off, and she sure needed to get to a healthy weight!  Good food and lots of play work wonders!

The big day arrived, and it was time to take Legacy to be spayed - she was looking trim and sleek.  In the time between her arriving, and her being fixed, one of my very best friends had a tragic even occur in her family.  One of their beloved cats was struck after running outside by a driver outside of her home.  This particular cat was one of those extremely SPECIAL ones (I know they all are, but you know what I mean, some are extra-special).  She was like a small, furry, four-legged soulmate to my friend.  My friend had to suffer through the horror of seeing the accident, and having her fur-child die in her arms.  She is one of the most wonderful people I know, and I know how much her heart broke in that moment.  I knew that no other cat could fill that hole... but, I also knew that she needed to have someone to help, to help her through the pain, to help the coping, and to give her hope again.  Legacy, also, needed someone special.  Someone who knew cats and could and would invest the time and energy into helping her finish her journey.  Allow her to be who she was and flourish in her confidence.  I asked my friend if, when Legacy was ready, she wanted to bring her into her home.  At first I'm sure she felt like she was betraying her baby, but the idea grew on her, and she agreed to give her a forever home.  In fact, she chose the name.  Legacy, as a testament to the legacy left by the fur baby who'd gone to the rainbow bridge, and a testament to the power of love to heal.  I felt it was a fantastic name, for a fantastic cat, from a wonderful woman who deserves love.  When Legacy healed from her spay, she had a forever home willing and waiting.

Legacy was AMAZING at the vets.  Though she was a little scared at first, she quickly charmed the staff with her chatty ways and her extremely loving personality.  Her recovery was very fast, and as she healed, she flourished even more!  She found a little ball that she enjoyed, and would bring it and drop it by me.   I picked it up and threw it... Low and behold, she brought it back and dropped it, ready to be thrown again!  I was so excited, I immediately texted her new mom and told her all about it.  She was excited too, and was just as pleased to see that her fur-baby was making so much progress!

The day arrived to take Legacy to her forever home.  It was a three-hour trip from my house to where she was going, and I was a little worried about how she would handle it, but it had to be done, and I knew that once she arrived, she'd never be leaving again.  She was perfect for the trip, didn't howl, cry, or otherwise fuss.  She chatted a little in her Siamese way, but it's almost like she knew this was her last trip, and at the end was happiness.  When we arrived, I took her inside and set her down, trying to see how she was reacting to the change in environment.  Her ears were forward and alert, and she was looking everywhere, but not fearfully.  She was curious and anticipating the door being opened so she could explore.  We opened the door, and out she came, as confident as you could ever wish for, and started exploring her new home.  Within minutes, she was up the cat climber, and made herself quite at home.  It was like she was meant to be there all along.  Her new mom was thrilled, and she's quickly become a darling in the household.  She gets along with the other resident cats, and is a confident, playful, and loving girl.  She loves playing fetch, and keeps her mom busy throwing her little ball for hours every day.   She is not a "replacement" for the lost fur baby, but she has made the hurt a little less, and instead of filling a void, has carved out her own space in the hearts of her forever family.

Legacy ready to play fetch some more.  She will play all day long, according to her mom.

All it takes is one, and Legacy was it for me.  She was the one who really made me realize that we had made a massive difference, and even one cat at a time, if we could only help the worst off, they would have a chance at life that they would never have otherwise.  We all decided, we wanted to help cats other people wouldn't (because traumatized cats don't get adopted quickly and the lifeblood of many rescues is a quick turnaround), or couldn't (many are intimidated by a hissing, growling cat and don't automatically register that with the cat being scared - only aggressive).  It starts with just one.... but here's to hoping there's many more!

Cat rescue is great, but it's definitely not easy....

My family and I decided that we wanted to volunteer somehow.   We figured, hey, maybe we could foster cats for a local rescue group?   We already love cats, so figured it kind of fit with things.  Myself, I have lots of cat/animal experience, so it sort of made sense to me too.

Quark - Resident Cat - Was born in our home to a foster.  She never left.. :)

We set about finding a rescue, Google helped us out, and we got set up.  The first year was really hard, we had a LOT of cats go through, and learned a lot.  We felt the need to move on, after a while, because of various reasons, but we still wanted to help cats.  I won't go into gory details, because I don't believe rescue should be about ego... just about the cats.   That about sums up my philosophy on things, and so, for a while, we just sort of did our own thing.  I felt particularly drawn to the plight of extremely traumatized, scared, formerly abused, neglected, feral, or otherwise neglected cats.  I found that I had something of an ability to gain their trust and help them to figure out their place in the world.  My family, too, are great with these cats, and even our own, resident cats, seem to sense when a cat is in distress and are supportive, in their own ways (even if it means just not bugging or pestering them for a while).  We sort of fell into it, but now most of the time when we foster rescues, it's because they need special help and attention to get into a place to find a forever home.

I share my experiences with others sometimes, but I don't want to just have that stigma as "the crazy cat lady"...  but.. I do know some people out there would like to hear the things I learn.  Maybe they want to help their own cat... maybe they want to help rescues.  Maybe they just care enough about animals that they are interested in hearing the stories of cats that get a new lease on life.  I don't know, but it feels like the right thing to do, and gives me something of a venue to share my stories without burning everyone else out.  Mind you, most of my friends that I speak to regularly are "cat" people on some level, but I would like to share things to others beyond that group.  Hopefully I can inspire just one person to do something that can make a difference.  Even one animal who's saved or helped is still one more animal not in a bad place.  That seems worth sharing to me.  So here I begin the story of my life in rescue, and the Diaries of all the cats who are subjected to Trauma, but come into my home for help.  I hope you enjoy.